Eating Out Part II

Becoming the Restaurant Regular that Owners Love

Greetings Anon, 🏝

We’ll finish up with some practical considerations on how to become a restaurant regular that owners love to see. 

But first, some housekeeping

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In Part I, Octo broke down the process of Finding Restaurants that could be potential regular haunts. Then went into Picking Your Spots… continuing that theme below and also some specific etiquette do’s-and-dont’s to keep in mind.

Finding Consistency:

As a general rule, visit the restaurant 3 times at different times of the week (eg. Tuesday, then a Saturday, then a Thursday). Why? You want a regular spot that is consistently on point, with no big swings in quality or taste. 

Restaurants tend to staff their strongest members on high volume days. This is only logical so the flip side of that is, on Monday/Tuesday are the flavors and quality still hitting the right notes and consistent? This is a very telling when looking for a regular spot. 

This is also something to keep in mind for mom-and-pop joints. If the owner is out on Monday, I’ll specifically go once or twice and see if there is any variance. If there is, then you know to just the days/nights when the owner is in the kitchen/dining room.

Tbh, least favorite times to eat out now are on the high volume/weekend nights. I’m over it, want to be left alone, and prefer not competing for a servers time. Take that for what its’ worth from a former restaurant curmudgeon 😉 

Establishing Contact:

During the first ~3 visits, don’t bother trying to make contact with the owners/managers. You’re purely doing reconnaissance to evaluate the food and service. If you happen be approached by the owner/manager, be courteous and polite. This is a given, but that’s all that is necessary early on and then make a mental note for future visits of who to be watching for. 

After your 3 preliminary visits, and you’ve decided on a restaurant(s) that you’re planning to frequent often, this is the time to make contact with the owner. Usually this is best done towards the end of the meal; ask your sever if you can speak to the owner. If the server is the owner they should identify themselves 😂 

For context, realize that the vast majority of people asking to speak to owners/managers in restaurants are complaining about something. When you do have the owner in front of you; compliment the food. Any dishes you really have been enjoying. Ask about their story (how long the restaurant has been open, their background, etc), and let them know you’re looking forward to enjoying many more meals at their restaurant. 

No need to go overboard, this simple kindness goes a long way to becoming memorable, and with subsequent visits this will give you a credibility in the future if there do happen to be any issues with food/quality etc. 

Racial Bias: 

One thing to address here that is important, and no, this is not going into woke territory. Purely facts. You’ll notice from the playlist in Part I, that Octo heavily goes for Asian cuisines (Thai, Sichuan, India, Pakistan). Fun fact, Octo doesn’t have any Asian heritage. So when going into one of the aforementioned restaurants and asking for “Thai hot” or “extra Spicy”, expect to not be taken seriously at all.

It really is quite understandable.

I’ve watched other Western-Ancestry tables order food with mild/moderate heat profiles only to send them back for being “too spicy”. 

This has largely been a progression over time, especially in Westernized Chinese food where even General Tso’s and Kung Pao aren’t even remotely spicy, in most cases, but feature the 3 🌶 symbol on the menu 😆 

If you’re not into spicy foods then no need to worry, this is one example of cuisines that get bent to the primary flavor palate of the population they are serving. 

The only way to overcome this is by becoming a regular. All the restaurants listed in the Part I play list now serve Octo food exactly how they would make for themselves and their family. We’ve had some good laughs over spicy food stories with guests, etc.

Etiquette:

Tipping-

If you still believe that a 10-15% tip is for suitable service and 20% is for exceptional… you’re living in the Stone Age. The service industry is tough, add to that you want to be a regular that owners and servers love, you should be tipping 50%. A 30% tip is still high in most cases, but we are not most people. We take care of our servers (most are making $2.13 plus tips…) so 50% is a good minimum to stick to when going out.

Timeliness-

Don’t roll in 15 mins before close. While restaurants have hours like “Dinner 5pm-10pm” it’s widely established within the industry that rolling in right before close is a prick move, so I leave at least 30 mins buffer, and even then will place an order immediately (especially if there aren’t many other diners.) 

Alcohol/Corkage-

For the restaurants that Octo frequents, these are fantastic cuisines that are very friendly for wine pairings. Something to check during your first few visits, is there an alcohol menu? If not, chances are you can BYOB which is my preferred option. If there is a drinks menu, when you establish contact with owner/manager, tell them you’re a wine enthusiast and that you’d like to bring some wines not available on the menu to enjoy with the food, and you’d be happy to pay a corkage. *Note: don’t bring wine with you that is listed on the menu; most high end places won’t allow it, but it truly is a prick move, makes you look like a cheapskate, and total “amateur-hour-vibes”

Holidays- 

Growing up, holidays were a time of cooking en masse at home with big menus, leftovers for days… Realized later that many people enjoy going out to eat on holidays. If you do this, and go to one of your regular spots, ask beforehand if they’ll take a reservation (this will make planning easier for them), and if not, expect some sort of wait. Be patient with the staff. These are usually the highest volume days, when all the amateurs come out and are a pain to deal with. 

Issues:

Finally, no one is perfect. Kitchens make mistakes. Recipes can get altered, vendors can change, servers can have off days. All of these are understandable but sometimes there are errors that need to be brought up to management/owners. If you have become a well regarded regular, who tips well, is friendly and supportive, then you have a great foundation for bringing attention to issues. Cold food, grossly under seasoned (sometimes cooks are in a rush and miss some steps), and any hygiene/sanitary issues (restrooms, etc) should be brought up. These will usually be appreciated, because as an owner you can’t be everywhere at once, and mistakes will happen from time to time. Above all, be polite and courteous. 

Wrap Up:

Well Fren that wraps up this series. Octopod hopes you find some great regular haunts and make some good connections. Just a few weeks ago I was in one of my fave Asian markets and ran into the owners of my regular Sichuan spot. I hadn’t been in a few weeks so they were asking about me, my parents, told me the regular server had been asking where I had been etc. we caught up for a few mins, got to ask about their little boy etc. 

These are the perks of becoming a regular that restaurant owners love. Making some great friends and enjoying delicious food! 

Until next time! 🥂